1. |
The Impossible Task
03:40
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Mundane, but impossible
Banal, and implausible
You wouldn’t understand
You could not possibly grasp
This impossible
This Impossible task
This impossible
This Impossible task
Impossible
Wanna see my face, you’ll only see a mask
Vexed and encumbered
An impossible task
This impossible
This Impossible task
Impossible
May not make sense
You see,
If I could get off the floor,
that’s key
Cut hair?
Impossible.
Check email?
Impossible.
Make bed?
Impossible
Pay bills?
Impossible
This impossible
This Impossible task
This impossible
This Impossible task
May not make sense
You see,
If I could get off the floor,
that’s key
Make bed?
Impossible
Pay bills?
Impossible
Buy food?
Impossible
Leave house?
Impossible
Wanna see my face, you’ll only see a mask
Vexed and encumbered
An impossible task
Impossible
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2. |
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I’ve got so much to handle and got so much to say
I’ve got so much to do but just want to fade away
All I can do sometimes is look back in shame
These pathetic hustles, these insignificant days
Twenty years and counting, memory fades
Still screaming outside the airlock, still punching in a daze
The weight of this misery, the choices I made.
This life is catching up with me, the darkness invades
Dark passengers
They always take me for a ride
Dark passengers
The ones that dwell on the inside
These hard times try to define me,
Like a picture with no frame
As Joe said: “Relentless uplift”
For most of my days
Like an episode of Black Mirror, this darkness has a name
Following a threadbare string
As I navigate the maze
Like a bounced check for the soul, for suffering and pain
It whispers its poison, it’s always the same.
“Perhaps everyone would be better off, if I just went away.”
Two words, simply stated, the words are: “Not today”
Dark passengers
They always take me for a ride
Dark passengers
The ones that dwell on the inside
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3. |
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I can be a lot to handle
I am a child of the moon
It seems to come in phases
In places that seem random to you.
And yes it feels like a poison, and
Don’t want to drive you away.
I‘ve got these pills to contain it, restrain it
Keep it at bay
But every night, I ask myself.
Without the poison... what am I?
Does it hurt more than it helps?
Without the poison... what am I?
I’ll make it go away?
Without the poison... what am I?
If that means you’ll stay
Without the poison... what am I?
Oooh, it keeps my mind from racing
From wanting to disappear
But if I remove the clutter, what other
Shit will I find here
Sometimes it feels like a poison
But also like a fire inside
A fire that makes me special,
Gets me attention
Makes me feel alive
But every night, I ask myself.
Without the poison... what am I?
Does it hurt more than it helps?
Without the poison... what am I?
Am I more myself?
Without the poison... what am I?
If I don’t get well?
Without the poison... what am I?
I can be a lot to handle
I am a child of the moon
And I dust off the surface, I’m nervous
But It’s still something new
And yes it feels like a poison
This toxic brain in my head
But instead of asphyxiating
I’ll create with my god damn heart instead.
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4. |
Authentic Fraud
03:53
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They don’t know I’m a fake, they don’t know that I don’t belong here
The whole things a mistake, If I can do it, clearly, anybody can
I’ve always been faking it
I get the feeling that it’s possible I always will
Believe it more every day,
Head down, dreading the arrival of the final bill
Everything exhausts me, everything is beyond me I’m a total fraud
Everything exhausts me, everything is beyond me
An authentic fraud
Everything exhausts me, everything is beyond me
An authentic fraud
Sure to be exposed...
What the hell am I even doing?
I wonder how many know?
Gritted teeth and white knuckle My way through
Justifiably paranoid
Imposter complex isn’t really complex at all
Not cut out for this
A coalition of frauds faking our way through,
Everything exhausts me, everything is beyond me I’m a total fraud
Everything exhausts me, everything is beyond me
An authentic fraud
(I don't belong here, I don't belong here)
Not good enough
Not smart enough
(But it’ll have to do.)
(I don't belong here, I don't belong here)
Not good enough
Not smart enough
(I guess you’ll do)
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5. |
Misery Machine
02:40
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Life's about time and sometimes it’s exquisite
Other days are violent like my soul
I'm smiling, but the darkness keeps on biting
A well oiled machine that produces woe.
a misery, a misery,
a misery machine
It's natural to ponder at your nature
Who you are and what you hope to share
I've grown weary of all this useless fury
Me and this darkness are quite the pair
a misery, a misery,
a misery machine
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6. |
Bipolar Vortex
05:06
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Oh! These feelings, it’s daunting I do not jest.
In the gravitational field of the bipolar vortex
I’ve overstayed my welcome
Goodwill has begun to fade
I was happy for a moment and then the moment done did fade
Assess the situation
Burn the past for Fuel
You can’t unbreak a window,
you can’t unsay words
Frantic purpose and action
Bound with a silent shout
It’s not the manic parts
You got to worry about.
Sometimes lost, never found
i'm a killer, i'm a clown
Losing hope, losing sound
Flying high, hitting ground
fading away
until the next wave breaks
I close my eyes to stay awake. I hide away for my own sake
I’m a staunch character
A cautionary tale
Too intense for polite company
Too big to fail
Difficult to imagine a new way to be
When I’m full of nightmares. Self doubt and misery
I close my eyes tightly, Just to stay awake
I hide away, for my own sake,
Sometimes lost, never found
i'm a killer, i'm a clown
Losing hope, losing sound
Flying high, hitting ground
fading away
until the next wave breaks
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7. |
Starting Position
02:55
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I don’t know where I’m going but I’ll let you know when I get there
Nostalgia for good old days that never, were there
You say: anytime assistance is needed
Trenches, hospital or mall.
Any call for help,
anytime you’ll heed the call.
And we return, and we return to:
Starting Position
I drown my stress in quiet, I douse my stress in noise.
I know I'm smiling, but the light inside me’s dying boys.
Every once in a while
I stare at the mirror on the wall,
I look at who I am.
And it is not enough at all.
4x And we return, and we return to:
Starting Position
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8. |
Anhedonia Blues
03:04
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It doesn’t feel bad
No really,
I feel nothing
Nothing to fix, nothing to see
Absent of pleasure
The harshest of truths
Just feeling blank again
Anhedonia blues
Anhedonia blues
Anhedonia blues
Anhedonia blues
Here it comes again
It ain’t anything
Whole lot of nothing
Nothing to fix, nothing to see
Absent of pleasure
The harshest of truths
Just feeling blank again
Anhedonia blues
Anhedonia blues
Anhedonia blues
Anhedonia blues
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9. |
Get Old, Or Die Trying
03:19
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Get Old or Die Trying.
Get old or die trying
Let’s get old
I am still here and so are you.
Most days are dark
Without much point
Casual cruelty
and petty grift
Some days can feel like a century
when the darkness
hits
Some days can feel like the darkness
Will never lift
Get Old or Die Trying.
Get old or die trying
Let’s get old
I am still here and so are you.
Wish sometimes, I
could flip a switch
Brush the dust off
without a hitch
But since I can’t, I guess that I’ll persevere
Outliving the bastards is such a gift
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10. |
Maybe I Was The Captain
05:04
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The compass determines the direction
The direction determines the navigation
The navigation determines the travel
Any corrections can be made on the way.
It it too late?
What will be our fate?
It all rides on me.
Which way to go
It’s No way that I know
Just can’t let down
So scared of command
Sick of sitting, I’ll stand
This is our destination
How long has it been?
A confident grin
Who pays attention that long?
So, all eyes on me. this is happening
I’m terror stricken, unprepared and bound to start choking
Hold the angle, grit your teeth, confidence is key
Just gotta remember that I’m my own worst enemy.
There’s no one coming, I can’t believe they want my voice
My voice is cracking, I wish there were a better choice
Hold it together, show a brave face, keep the panic stealth
Maybe I was the captain, maybe it was someone else?
Maybe i was the captain
Maybe it was somebody else
Maybe nobody really gives a damn about how you felt
Maybe i was the captain
Maybe it was somebody else
Maybe nobody really gives a damn about how you felt
So, all eyes on me... this is happening
I’m terror stricken, unprepared and bound to start choking
Hold the angle, grit your teeth, confidence is key
Just gotta remember that I’m my own worst enemy.
There’s no one coming, I can’t believe they want my voice
My voice is cracking, I wish there were a better choice
Hold it together, show a brave face, keep the panic stealth
Maybe I was the captain, maybe it was someone else?
The compass determines the direction
The direction determines the navigation
The navigation determines the travel
Any corrections can be made on the way.
Bound by history. Not enslaved, not free
So scared of Command
No choice is right, no end in sight
Everything’ smaller when it’s out
Make the music louder, than the sadness, the doubt
Do it with reckless force
So come follow me, it’s not glory I seek
But it may be interesting
So, all eyes on me... this is happening
I’m terror stricken, unprepared and bound to start choking
Hold the angle, grit your teeth, confidence is key
Just gotta remember that I’m my own worst enemy.
There’s no one coming, I can’t believe they want my voice
My voice is cracking, I wish there were a better choice
Hold it together, show a brave face, keep the panic stealth
Maybe I was the captain, maybe it was someone else?
Maybe i was the captain
Maybe it was somebody else
Maybe nobody really gives a damn about how you felt
Maybe i was the captain
Maybe it was somebody else
Maybe nobody really gives a damn about how you felt
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11. |
Spite House
05:11
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Raise up the walls
Heed the call
You might find, to your surprise
Hubris raised up tall
A silent wail.
A subtle revenge tale.
You'd be surprised
How much damage you can do to a mind.
I build this house
This is my spite house
just to spite you.
This is my spite house
And I hope you hate it
Toshi:
I live... in a spite house, in my spite house
I live... in a spite house, in my spite house
A house to bought the eye, it’s edifice a sty, in my spite house
A sight you see and seethe, a visage of teeth, in my spite house.
A house to blight the eye
It's edifice a sty.
It is my weapon, my delivery system, and you know why.
This sight you see and seethe
A visage of teeth.
Rest assured
As long as I draw breath you will not know peace
I hope you hate it
This is my spite house
I hope your eyes choke
This is my spite house
I guess I showed you
I live... in a spite house, in my spite house
I live... in a spite house, in my spite house
A house to bought the eye, it’s edifice a sty, in my spite house
A sight you see and seethe, a visage of teeth, in my spite house.
I live... in a spite house, in my spite house
I live... in a spite house, in my spite house
I live... in a spite house, in my spite house
I live... in a spite house, in my spite house
Raise up the walls, heed the call. In my spite house.
A silent wail, a subtle revenge tail, in my spite house.
A house to bought the eye, it’s edifice a sty, in my spite house
This sight you see and seethe
A visage of teeth.
In my spite house
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Conan Neutron & The Secret Friends Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Conan Neutron, Tony Ash and Dale Crover play big weird rock music for smart asses and malcontents.. Featuring members of Replicator, MELVINS, Trophy Wives. Coliseum, and more. Live lineups have a revolving cast of players.
Conan Neutron & The Secret Friends recommends:
Secret Friends bassist Tony Ash also rocks the Thud stick for Louisville badasses Trophy Wives. RIYL: Queens of the Stone Age, Hot Snakes, ZZ Top, etc.
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"Hey Paul, you heard of these guys? Melvins?"
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Whangbar Province
by Replicator
Neutron's first band 2000-2008. This 3 song ep is one of the best summations of that bands discographies that you can find without a "best of" RIYL: Shellac, Jesus Lizard, DEVO, MELVINS
go to albumIf you like Conan Neutron & The Secret Friends, you may also like:
The Caterwaul Society: Songs for Rainer Fronz
by The Caterwaul Society
supported by 33 fans who also own “Dark Passengers”
This one CRUSHES. Lots of good trax on this, but GAS MAN MIKE speaks to me.
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Gnarly post-hardcore from Chicago with all the heft and right angles one could possibly want.
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